Ask a dog trainer: can I teach my dog to like other dogs?

One of the more common questions I get asked by clients who are looking for behavior modification training is, “Can you teach my dog to like other dogs?”

There are lots of variants to this request, such as:

• we brought home a new dog that doesn’t get along with our other dogs
• I want to be able to take him to the dog park
• the doggy daycare kicked us out and I need her to be welcomed back
• I just want him to play with my best friend’s dog, etc.

This topic is a heated one and depending on who you talk to you – trainer, vet, canine behaviorist – and the methods they believe in, you will get vastly different opinions. I have first-hand experience with this, not just as a certified dog trainer, but someone whose youngest dog does not like other dogs and so has lived through the frustration and disappointment it can cause.

Why Should Dogs Like All Other Dogs?

First, let’s talk about why human beings think, nay expect, all dogs to love every other dog. Where this idea came from, I have no idea, but it goes against pretty much everything we see in any species on this Earth. Regardless of what the animal is, they never get along with every other member of its species. There are struggles to find mates, food, territory, etc.- with this being said, animals do not get along with every other animal.

And, we humans do not like every single other human. If so, there would be no fighting, murders, assault or even war. So why do we expect our dogs to like all other dogs? Do you greet every single person you pass on the street? No. Most likely, you try to avoid contact. If they accidentally bump into you, there are several responses: some may say hi and introduce themselves, others just keep walking, some mumble a quick halfhearted apology, and some may try to pick a fight….sound familar? Dogs can have these same reactions to other dogs they meet.

Your dog may:

• Greet a dog nicely
• Try to get away quickly (which they can’t because you have them on leash)
• Say “hello” halfheartedly and then quickly avert their gaze, body turned away from the other dog
• Or, react by barking and lunging

It is actually rarer than you think to find a dog that is perfectly happy meeting every person and dog he meets.

This does not mean dogs are either one or the other. It’s a scale. Some dogs, genetically, have dispositions that make them less likely to like or even tolerate other dogs. For example, dogs that are resource guarders (like mine!) are going to be less friendly because they see other dogs as “threats” to their resources (natural struggle for survival). Other dogs may be more aggressive or fearful. Fearful dogs can act aggressive (best defensive is a good offensive) or may just cower and try to hide or run.

It can also depend on the dog. Mine has more trouble with large, dark colored dogs. Due, in part I believe, to his time spent in the large dog room of a bad daycare.

In short, there is no natural reason for a dog to like every single dog (or human or any other animal) it meets. This is something we humans would like because it makes our lives easier.

Creating A Non-Social Dog

Owners will often start feeling guilty – did I create this? Did I not socialize him enough? Did we not meet enough dogs? While you will meet some people who tell you that it’s all about how the dog was raised, I do not believe that.

Based on what I have seen, it’s a mix of both genetics and environmental factors. My dog, for example, was born a resource guarder with a predisposition to be reactive, the environment he was in as a puppy solidified his dislike for big dogs.

A dog can be born with a nice temperament and end up mean due to mistreatment. Or just a bad experience. I’ve met plenty of dogs that were friendly until attacked by another dog. Understandably, they are not fearful and don’t want other dogs around them. A dog can also be born with a reactive temperament but be taught how to control it with correct handling.

Video: Stop Dog Aggression Towards Other Dogs | Training Dogs To Like Other Dogs | DogWorx

Help For The Non-Social Dog

So is there no hope then? If my dog hates other dogs will he always? The answer is yes and no. You can’t fully change a dog’s temperament or disposition and most of us don’t have control over our dog’s genes.

If you adopted a dog, you don’t even know who the parents were most likely, let alone generations of dogs and their temperament. Luckily, you don’t need to know that in order to help him out.

What you do need is visit with a good canine behaviorist. If you are just trying to integrate a new dog into the household, they will help you set up spaces and show you how to correctly introduce the dogs (a neutral space is a must!) to avoid a fight. It’s also helpful to have those expert pair of hands around – a friend may mean well, but if they don’t know what they are doing, they could make things worse.

Remember, you are not changing the dog’s personality, you are teaching him how to cope appropriately in situations where he feels uncomfortable. This usually includes:

• Teaching your dog how to relax
• Teaching your dog how to ignore other dogs and focus on you
• Teaching your dog that you are a safe place and won’t allow other dog to come into your dog’s space (which helps them relax)
• Teaching cues such as leave it and watch me so you have tools you can use when you encounter a dog
• Conditioning your dog that seeing other dogs means good things (this is based on Pavlov’s dogs)
• Teaching you handling skills such as an emergency U-turn and how to be aware of your surroundings when walking your dog.

Will your dog every get to the dog park or the doggy care? These are places that are extremely chaotic and honestly not the best environment for most dogs. So maybe not. But, you will be able to walk your dog in public, compete in dog sporting events and even have more than one dog in the house. I introduced an adult dog into my house when my youngest was a year old with no problems. It’s possible! The key is to have good help – a certified dog trainer with behavior modification experience and who uses positive methods. You can find a trainer near you by going to the The Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers’ (CCPDT) website.

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